Today marks two weeks since I’ve been home from Washington. I had to grab the calendar and double check that because it seems like a lifetime ago. It’s actually a relief that it has not been so long. It’s easier to give myself grace and understanding for the heartache I’m still battling.

I’ve confided in a few friends that I’m waking up really sad every day. I literally wake up with tears in my eyes and a heavy heart. This morning I realized why.

I dream of Washington, the team and the Lummi people every single night.

We are at camp and in the mountains together. We’re having conversations about kids and life and the connections are so strong and seem so real.

I start every day with a new goodbye.

The truth is, I’m not sure I want it to stop.

This living in two places gig is something else. I put my head on the pillow and my sub-conscience begins to process the ideas that I still can’t seem to put into words. My longings take shape and I am there. Then I open my eyes to a different set of people that I love with all my heart. They are beautiful too.

I’ve read that the misery of the Christian life is to have 1 foot planted here on Earth and the other planted in heaven. I couldn’t agree more for I have yet to learn how to hold sorrow and joy at the same time. If life is a good teacher, then I’m a slow learner because this continues to be the demands of my days back here in Indiana.

I miss him. I really miss all of them.

I made the birthday cards today to send to the Lummi kids back in Washington. I actually ordered enough to use for all my birthday cards this year. I used the word CHOSEN as the theme for the cards. I have always referred to Colossians 3 as the “holy clothes” verses. So, I’m waking up from these dreams and trying to get dressed in these holy clothes.

I’m not sure how this works out. I just know that my capacity to love and my gratitude has deepened. I’m so thankful when I get to talk to one of the Lummi kids during the day or spend time with a team member. I’m thankful for the many blessings of my life here in Indiana and am looking for ways to send those blessings west any chance I get. I have no idea what God’s plan is, but I have today and the opportunity has not changed:

Love God And Whoever He Puts In Front Of You.

“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” (Colossians 3:12-17 ESV)

One thought on “Sweet Sleep

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